This isn't really anything that I've shared with anyone really - except for family and a few close friends, but here is the story....
In recent months, my grandfather has developed a very serious case of Alzheimer's. Its sort of been coming on for maybe the past three years. I can remember when I first noticed ... like where I was or whatever ... but I can't remember exactly when that was. Anyway, it started with just like forgetting names or having to have information repeated. It has now evolved to him not knowing where he is from minute to minute - even in his own house. He still knows my grandmother, he still knows my mom, he knows my dad maybe 75% of the time (all of them still in my hometown of course) ... As far as the rest of us ... I think he still knows his two sons... the grandkids, the inlaws ... he knows we're supposed to be there but I don't think he could any longer put a name with my face or tell me how I'm related to him. But he knows I'm supposed to be there - its not like we're strangers yet. Maybe we will be someday, probably; I just don't know.
I'm trying to think when the last time the "new normal" was over with him. It wasn't over Corn Fest because Corn Fest was pretty much the same as Thanksgiving although Thanksgiving was well... the same but worse. It must have been maybe over Memorial Day weekend or that April weekend I came home for a visit. Then he still knew my name and knew what my job was - he always asked me about my job. Corn Fest he didn't ask me about my job and Thanksgiving, he really didn't even talk to me much.
Its very very sad. My grandfather was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known - he was CEO of one company and vice president of another company - a pretty famous company at the time. He was one of those people who was always up on politics and the stock market. He traveled the world - crossed the equator more times than you can imagine, made 26 trips to Australia. When I was a little girl I think I was convinced that someday he would be like President of the United States or something - LOL! People in my hometown think he was like a diplomat or something which I think is kind of funny. He could have been though... he probably could have been either!
But now its reduced to asking every three to five minutes where we are, what we are doing and how did we get there when we're at my uncle's house for Thanksgiving. Yet, the next moment he can tell you exactly what he was doing on August 21, 1942 in Burma during the war or mention the name of someone we haven't seen in years. Those things are still there. Its so odd.
My grandmother is a great woman but I can't say she's dealing with this all that well - but who can blame her. Still, I think it may be a little more difficult for her than a lot of people. My grandmother doesn't have a lot of patience with people regardless of the situation so you can imagine what this is like for her. She tries and tries but when she literally has to repeat herself like 100 times over on the same thing... I mean, it would drive anyone nuts. She told me that she cries everyday. And thats not good. Its not good for her health. The woman already has a pacemaker and today she had a spell - she hadn't had one in a long time. Mom took her to the hospital and she is staying overnight. She did not have a heart attack but they are doing more tests. I would be surprised if they find anything though. I think they're going to tell her its stress. The doctor has put them in contact with a social worker and I guess certain decisions are going to have to be made. Sadly, its time. Its time or its going to end up killing her... and my grandmother isn't some little old lady grandmother. We're talking about a strong woman here who was upset when my mom and her brothers recommended when she was 76 and my grandfather was 80 that it might be time to stop skiing in Breckenridge. So these are the type of people that they are. Know what I mean?
I think its a fact of everyone's life and everyone is going to have to make a decision like this about a loved one at some point. I mean... geez... this seems to run in the family on that side... But there is something to be said about 'quality of life' for the person this is happening to and the people who care about them. Whatever they decide I am certain the decision is going to be a difficult one but I'm sure it will be a reasonable decision and the right one and I will stand behind whatever they decide.
If I live to be an older person, I just hope the old body decides to go before the mind because this is a horrible horrible way to have to live.
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