I'm going to be a little vague with names here because so many people know about this story that I don't want this post accidentally Googled.

Anyway... the 4 year old daughter of my sister's best friend from high school is ... as we speak ... having a heart transplant.

I say my sister's best friend from high school just as a way to describe the mother because she really was a lot more than that. I guess you can say my sis went thru a lot of "best friends" before she got a permanent one back in the day but N and my sis have been friends since before N could really even talk. Seriously... when she was a toddler she couldn't even say my sister's name correctly.

She and her sister, who was in my class and also a very good friend, lived three doors down from us until about junior high when their parents got divorced.

Its so weird to think of now ... the little girl who couldn't say my sister's name, who played slip and slide in our front yard, who went to Disney with us on spring break, who hung out at our house constantly when her parents got divorced, who ate strawberry Blizzards with my sister, who made fun of me and my boyfriends... she grew up to be the mother of a little girl who needed a heart transplant. All of those memories are so clear in my mind as if they happened yesterday. N was as much in my life as in anyone else's in my family. For some reason my mind goes back to that and then thinks ahead and what ended up happening. Wow ... I guess you really just never know what is going to happen in life.

Could have happened to anyone if it happened to N. And you shouldn't think like that but you do... kind of like, if it happened to her, it could happen to me. The one big thing I've learned as a mother is that it is so easy to put yourself "there". Know what I mean? I've really sort of had a hard time with it thinking about her situation in the last month and a half. I mean, what if. You shouldn't relate it to your kids, but you do. I hear or read of something bad or sad happening to a child and I feel it like I never knew I could feel it.

I think I just realize, I love my baby so much and this is the same feeling that everyone has (or is supposed to have) for their children and if my heart breaks for them just by hearing their sad story... imagine how they must feel to actually have to go thru some sort of tragedy.

Since I've had my baby there have been two families and two situations that I have thought so much about. One of my dear friends here had premie triplets a few years ago and lost two of them within weeks of their births. One of the babies lived, has had her problems, but is doing great. I think the only way they were able to survive that situation was by concentrating on their daughter who lived. I think that may also be how us, some of her friends, dealt with it too because now going back and thinking about it... it makes me beyond sad. Now that her daughter is doing well ... she's 2 ... I think my friend may be going back to some of that too. She has mentioned the other two a lot more in recent months than she had.

The other situation I keep thinking about is my cousins who lost their son to leukemia when he was around 20 years old. This happened when I was about 8 years old or so and I understood death at the time - he was the first young person I knew who died - but I obviously didn't understand their pain. They are some of the best people that you would want to know and I think of them so much now. I mean, that had to be 25 years ago at this point.

It can be a lot more simple than that too. I just think of all of the broken hearts I endured and all of the tears over some damn guy and all of the times I cried to my mom over stuff like that and other things and I guess I know that no matter how old that baby gets, when you see those tears and unhappiness... that is your baby who is crying and unhappy.

Just things I never thought of until I became a mother. I guess its a kind of pain that you get to bear but its a good thing. I'm looking at her sleeping in her swing right now and I know that I know her better than anyone else and it will always be that way and that is something amazing and special that can never be taken away, no matter what.

So anyway, I don't mean to come back to blogging with something so freaking sad. Its just sort of an interesting nervous day and I've always sort of wanting to write these thoughts down since I began having them.

So if you pray, pray for N and her family and her baby. She is the whole world to N which I definitely understand.

Happy impeachment day!

As if anyone needed a scientific explanation that the weather here SUCKS right now!

Look at those two LOWS! What the hell!! At least it looks like this will be over soon. I just want to get home for Christmas!

This is a test

I am doing a test post for emailing from ping.fm to blogger to email... Whew!!!!

is hanging out and geeking out....

testing Ping.fm

My blog

I'm still around... sort of...

Super lazy, super busy...

Still posting on Myspace and Flickr but I haven't gotten around to blogging much lately. I want to - I had actually PLANNED to!!!

I don't think this blog is completely dead...

I'll be working on it!

Testing

Is this as cool as I think it is?

Sigh...

I'm completely stressed out. I think work is really starting to get the better of me and I do not like that. I'm thinking about taking off for a few days to go to Texas to hang at my uncle's ranch. I really do need to get away I think. Doesn't look like my hubby would be able to go, but thats OK. I need to be somewhere warm I think. All of this negative weather and snow are not helping matters.

Very sad to hear about Heath Ledger. I was shocked. I really liked him. I love that teeny bopper movie - Ten Things I Hate About You. Its so cute! Its weird you know. When you hear about some celebrities dying or whatever and then you think about their history and who they were and stuff, you aren't shocked. Brad Renfro? That wasn't shocking. I do think its shocking about Heath though. So sad....

Maybe have some news to post here in the next couple of weeks. We shall see...

Jamie Lynn

Ok ... whatever ... but...

The thing that is driving me crazy about this whole thing is all of these news stories about "How are you going to talk to your child about this?" And then they give examples of would this be something you want to discuss with your 8, 9 or 10 year old...

OF COURSE IT WOULD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Its more than 20 years ago since I was a 10 year old and I remember all of the "talk" about "stuff" amongst the kids already starting in school then (kids get a lot of stuff wrong, by the way!). And, like I said, that was 20 years ago!

Kids know way way WAY more than their parents would like to think they do.

The whole Jamie Lynn thing is the perfect opportunity to discuss these issues with younger children.

Let me give you a personal example ...

When I was 6 years old a close relative of mine, who was 17 and still in high school, became pregnant. My mom was extremely honest with me about it and her views on it (nor did she hide this from my 4 year old sister). When I was 8 years old a close family friend who was 18 and still in high school became pregnant. So we had the talk again.

My mom didn't talk about "sex" but in generalities that we could understand as children - and we did.

And in my whole growing up life and talking about "stuff" my mom was able to give me these examples time and again. I knew what my parents expected out of me and what they believed. I would like to think that these conversations would have occurred anyway, but I'm not sure.

This is a teaching opportunity, people! Use it!! 8-10 years old is not too young (nor is 6 for that matter) to discuss these things. There are junior high (and younger) students having sex. How old is junior high?? 12, 13, 14?? So, if you're only starting to discuss these things at 10 ... you may have a little catching up to do!! Believe me, some of them are already hearing rumors about their classmates ... Sad, but true!

I think I should start a running comentary on country music ...

GREAT nominations for this Grammy category:

Best Female Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

• Simple Love
  Alison Krauss
  Track from: A Hundred Miles Or More: A Collection
  [Rounder]
  
  
• Famous In A Small Town
  Miranda Lambert
  Track from: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  [Columbia Nashville]
  
  
• Nothin' Better To Do
  LeAnn Rimes
  [Curb Records]
  
  
• Before He Cheats
  Carrie Underwood
  Track from: Some Hearts
  [19 Recordings/Arista Nashville]
  
  
• Heaven, Heartache And The Power Of Love
  Trisha Yearwood
  [Big Machine Records]

I love this for some reason...

Gennifer is a better woman than me!

If any of my exes wives ever runs for president, I ain't voting for her, no matter how happy I am now- ha ha!

And if any of my exes ever run for anything, they better watch out! I could use some extra pocket cash!

LOL!

Ick!

Its getting closer!

Oh yeah...

So this missing woman Stacy Petersen and her husband who probably killed her... they live like 2 miles from me.

I haven't been over there to witness all of the chaos with the media but a friend was over there visiting a friend who lives down the block the other night and he says its just nuts!

Sad...

I'm not a big fan of the Dr. Phil show... but a few years ago I was randomly watching and saw this episode and could never really forget about it:

http://www.kmbc.com/news/4247004/detail.html

Now we find out their father did kill them (it was pretty evident I thought, anyway):

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/11/20/dad.charged.ap/index.html

Very very sad....

CMAs

Brad Paisley - Rocks!
Sugarland - Jennifer and the creepy cowboy ROCK!
Kelly Pickler - she's growing on me. Crying during that song - wow!
Taylor Swift - the first two songs were mush; this new one ... yeah, she might be the real deal.
Kenny Chesney - used to like him before - I like his old stuff. The new stuff: Jimmy Buffett wanna-be hack. Sorry, thats what I think. All of these awards? Come on - he ain't Garth!!

I really think Brad Paisley should have gotten entertainer of the year! Bummer...

Flower

So sad ...

You know, our kitty's unofficial "middle name" is Flower after this Flower.

Random story

So... maybe I'll try to start blogging some more here.

Anyway, my hubby is on a business trip (poor lonely me!)... He is in hotel management and the town where he is working has two hotels next door to each other that his company manages. Anyway, he heard yesterday that Ziggy Marley was staying at the "other" hotel - not the one he is at - and checked it out and yes, his tour bus is there. Supposedly he is opening for Van Halen? Odd, but whatever.

So he's in the hotel lobby or whatever and not really paying attention to what he is doing and sort of backs up near the elevator as it is letting off and who does he bump into? Ziggy Marley! Just bumps right into him. He said something to him, "Oh, excuse me, mon" or whatever - something like that. LOL! Than he forgets for about half a day to tell me this story. I was dying.

Hubby has met several famous people thru the years in the hotels.

Because this may never happen again...

Its Tropical Depression Melissa!


Yes, I'm still alive!